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I am an idiot.

It's a little past 5:00 AM because, once again, I am torqued beyond belief from drinking diet pepsi all night at work...argh! Anyways, I couldnt fall asleep. So I decided to post something. But I can't think of anything. So in an attempt to save you all the time it would take to read this post, time which you could all use to be doing something more productive (like getting a life, for God's sake. Who am I anyways, do you even know me, or did someone just give you my screenname because I have a funny blog), I have preemptively decided that this will be called the "Least Interesting Post Ever." After all, we're only in our second month here at Life of Randy (TM), so we're getting the kinks worked out early.

Anyways, here goes. Work today sucked, I screwed up at least two checks which the managers had to change before cashouts, and I spilled something twice. The first time it was three bottles of beer all at once, the other time it was a skinless baked potato all over a korean man's infant son (luckily it was what the kid wanted, so in one way or another he got his meal...also I don't normally see korean men out all by themselves with their infant sons...but thats a different subject). Luckily it was a slow night, with an abnormally low volume of Korean nationals coming into the restaurant, so I was spared the humiliation of spilling food all over their children again.

When I got on the train, I realized that I had elected to get on the car that contained none other than "Annoying Fat Girl From Work Who Has A Crush On Me Because I Am The Only One Who Will Talk To Her, But She Doesn't Realize I Only Do It To Be Nice, Because Joe The Mean Manager Makes Fun Of Her". Now mind you she hadn't been working that night, she just "happened to be in the neighborhood". My personal theory is that she was taking pictures of my shoe size or inner ears, but whatever. She proceeded to tell me a made up story about how her boyfriend got hit by a car over the weekend and then of course felt it was necessary to show me her new tongue ring. At the sight of this, I promptly vomitted all over myself and all the other passengers on the train. By the time everyone had finished cleaning themselves up, it was time for me to say goodbye to "Annoying Fat Girl From Work Who Has A Crush On Me Because I Am The Only One Who Will Talk To Her, But She Doesn't Realize I Only Do It To Be Nice, Because Joe The Mean Manager Makes Fun Of Her", at which point I collapsed into the nearest soft place, which happened to be my landlord's dumpster, to recuperate from the "tongue ring" incident (At this point, if you haven't caught it yet, I've started to embellish the story slightly, to make this post a little more bearable. Think of all the things you could be doing right now to do something with yourself, but instead you read this. For shame.).

After about 5 or 6 hours of many tears and gnashing of teeth (Old Testament references are krunk), I got my ish together and went upstairs, hung out with Adam, went on a scavenger hunt around the apartment for the my things which had been moved out of the common area, thanks to the one and only Steven Frederick, and now I am here typing to you. There, that was my day. I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I haven't.

Goodnight.
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