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Latest and Greatest: D.H. "Scholastic Master" Bathon is Admitted to 2 Schools so far.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Yes, its true, as of this point in my life two institutions of higher learning want ME to walk the grounds of their campus' and for me to grace their professors (or TA's...) with my superior intellect and vast tract of knowledge. Both of the schools happen to be in GA, the are Piedmont College and Gainesville College.

In all seriousness I am %90 percent sure I was admitted to Piedmont solely on the basis that I can walk AND breathe simultaneously. Gainesville has slightly higher standards, but I spelled my name right on the application so I was a shoe-in. But bottom line is I am now officially going to school SOMEWHERE in the fall. The University of Denver and the University of Puget Sound are going to be slightly more difficult, as both of them require something called an "essay"(whatever those are) and also would like to see me in person before I am admitted to the school. But thats the latest update for you, hope that holds you jackals over until I write another post.

In other news I was accepted to Life and Health University with out even applying. In fact I got a degree from them in an email, which is pretty sweet, I just have to log on to their website and chose which kind it will be. None of you ever figured I'd be getting TWO undergraduate degrees, did you!?

Shameless Self-Promotion

Thursday, June 16, 2005
So I was recently working on my photography portfolio so I could submit it to schools I am applying to for the spring, and I decided that maybe I could make a few bucks selling prints of my pictures. I recently converted most of my black and white negatives from years and years of taking pictures into a digital format. Take a look at a sample offering of my photos (larger formats available for serious buyers...and yes I am aware the chances that any of you are "serious buyers" is about nil, since a high percentage of my audience are bourgeouis cavemen...or idiots, but maybe you have a rich aunt or something...) and tell me if you want to buy them for millions of dollars (or $5).

So anyways, thats it. This is actually a semi-serious post for once, I only made fun of you one time. I mean, you made me bring your aunt into it, but still, overall it was pretty civil. Maybe I'll think of something to hate you for next time. Until then...

Blogging is Stupid (Things That Annoy Me #2)

Saturday, June 11, 2005
Seriously though, like, whats the point. I am never going to actually tell any of you what is going in my life on a heart-to-heart level, that would be ridiculous. I've read blogs where girls talk about boys that they currently like as if she is sharing a secret confidence with some other giggling pre-pubescent moron as they sit in their nighties and play "Mall Madness". I mean its ridiculous! No, this venue will be used solely for entertainment purposes, and maybe everyonce in a while for a little venting of negative energy (as you are currently observing). In that same spirit, it has come to my attention that one of my "best" posts ever (and I say "best" because it can only be used when considering the rest of my posts, which are either mind-numbingly inane or just plain boring) was my "Things That Annoy Me" post. So in consideration of that fact, I will now give another list. Again, this is by no means comprehensive or limiting, it is just a small list, even a fraction of the greater number of things that annoy me.

1.) Black people
2.) You fall for it everytime, I'm going to keep doing it until you catch on.
3.) People who have enough space-time on their hands to spend it writing me emails about how I should write my blog to better take up more of their useless lives. Bravo losers.
4.) Guido's. I mean like New Jersey kinda people. I know I touched on this in my last post, but I specifically focusing on the Italian Americans in those groups. You classless bunch of degenerates, get jobs that are not in roast beef joints, stop sowing your wild oats at every trance and techno club you come across and start contributing to the greater good. Either that or kill yourselves.
5.) Already the trend of this list is to have a high level of hostility. This is a good thing.
6.) People who were confused by #5 and said to themselves "Wait, how can that be annoying? That doesn't even make sense!"
7.) Britney Spears
8.) Steve Schnell (still.)
9.) Track-ball mice
10.) Badly made chopsticks that slide off each other...apparently the chinese have not completely mastered the concept of "friction".
11.) People with ridiculous last names that then get offended when you mispronounce their ridiculous last name. Change your name, Ellis Island did it to everyone that came here with a stupid name. We don't speak Swahili or Thai here, we speak English.
12.) Linkin Park
13.) Jay-Z doing an album with Linkin Park and thusly giving all morons who like Linkin Park a reason to say "see, their makin' it big!"
14.) Nickleback
15.) appointment books that I keep accumulating because people think that somehow, after 22 years of life, I haven't figured out how to use one or that I must not know about them or I would keep better track of time and so thusly I must receive one from them so I can imitate them in their extreme punctuality.
16.) People who shook their heads at that last comment and said "he needs to be more punctual."
17.) Cyclists on Mass. Ave.
18.) Anyone who got offended at #11
19.) Guys in Boston who are gay for the sake of being gay. Great, your gay, I don't need to be able to tell from 3 miles away.
20.) Homophobia (yeah, thats right, it annoys me)
21.) Heterophobia (it exists and it annoys also annoys)
22.) Lumberjacks
23.) MySpace...fake-scenesters unite!
24.) Mike Lenahen when he calls me at 10PM looking for someone to pick him up from the airport at 12AM
25.) Emily Bohnhoff
26.) Just kidding...(not really)
27.) Women who don't have goals or vision for themselves or their lives beyond getting married and having someone else's children...actually it depresses me more then it annoys me...*sigh*
28.) When I get way too deep and analytical on a list of things that annoy me...won't happen again.
29.) When my car heats up on sunny days and then CD player won't work until I jack up the air-conditioning to the "Penguin Nipples" setting and let the laser assembly cool down. Who designed the stupid thing so that it would heat up in the sun anyways, its in the friggin' dashboard!
30.) The skeptics who choose to believe that my car does not have a "Penguin Nipples" setting on its air conditioner. It also has "Absolute Zero" and "Eskimo ***".
31.) When I stay up way too late working on my websites and start to see the sun come up (Dang it!)
32.) Knocking over my CD case everytime I push my chair out to get up from my desk because I don't have any more space in my room and I keep putting it their because I am useless.
33.) Carson Daly (throwback!)
34.) Refined sugar! I am addicted to you!
35.) Tight-wads
36.) Harvard Business School students - you are not god's gift to the economy, and to everyone besides Boston Magazine and Architecture Today, your dorms suck and look like they were built in 1977 instead of last year.
37.) craigslist
38.) Nicole Kidman
39.) So many people who don't get Will Ferrell like I do pretending to like him because its trendy.
40.) Lanyards (MARKS!)
41.) In that same vein of thought, Rhode Island

Thats about all I got for now. I was gonna think of a witty ending to this post until I decided that none of you were worth me putting anymore energy into this. I would say goodnight except I hate all you. Goodnight...wait...son of a beesting.

An announcement for the ages...

Wednesday, June 08, 2005
It is finished. What was an idea only 6 months ago is now a reality. I have created and am part of a new blog. Its called The Blackhouse Society of Boston. Its pretty rad, I worked on the stupid banner for like 3 hours yesterday, and the rest of the site took even longer to get it the way i wanted it to, and so that the menus wouldn't block the banner. But I am exceedingly pleased with the results. You should all check it out, its on an open commenting format, so anyone can include their own content in the form of a comment they make on the website. So go and express your opinions! Keep checking Blackhouse Society of Boston (BSB for short) frequently because I know it will be updated more than my site will. Though you should never stop checking Life of Randy.

In other news, I don't have a job, which is midly to sort-of alarming. Sonny said I can work at camp for weeks 5, 6 and 7, but I have to figure out a way to get some income. I don't wanna just take any random job, or a job that is going to lock me down for the whole summer (though I know I may have to). My new thing is going into construction sites and selling old things I find there that the builders want me to take off there hands. If you guys wanna buy THE sweetest old refridgerator, or you know someone that does, click here. I am selling that thing, pretty sweet huh? No but seriously the market for these things is in the $750-$2000 range (not even kidding you, check the rest of the site) and I am trying to dish it right now to a lady in South Dakota for $800. She wants the $800 to include shipping though and she can bite me.

Seriously, all South Dakota can.

I am completely confounded by Javascript and XML.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005
OK so this Java/XML thing has just completely messed me up. I DL'ed this skin from a website and I was able to do some basic HTML edits to it, but goodness gracious me if it isn't impossible for me to decipher what the heck the rest of it means. Right now I am trying to change/remove some of the toolbar links on the right. For instance I'd like to be able to add more than just three links if I can (check out the source and you'll see what I mean...). If anyone who wasn't lazy and took a CS 101 class AND actually payed attention and didnt just make applets with dirty words come up on their screens, well let me know if you have any suggestions. Also, if you have any suggestions for how I can get a girlfriend, or at least how I can script one in Basic, let me know.

He has returned from whence he came...

OK so after a...(pause while I do math)...3 and half month hiatus, I have returned from my journey into the nether-regions of North Carolina. I made a few stops along the way (Georgia, Oregon, Washington, Illinois...etc...), but I am finally back in Massachusetts where I belong. I don't really have much to say about the last three months other than the fact that there were full of events. You might even say eventful, but that would just be pretentious.
An event of note is that I am now a nationally certified Wilderness First Responder, which means if you screw up in the middle of the woods and break your femur, well then I am fully trained to freak out and lose consciousness when I see the bone sticking out of your leg. Not but seriously, after I come to, I can set the bone, pull traction-in-line, assess the MOI, and keep your vitals for you. So what does this mean? Well, it means that I am relatively useless to you unless you and I happen to be in a heavily wooded area an hour away from the nearest road. But if ever in the future of my travels you and I cross paths in just such an environment AND you happen to have a life threatening injury, well you're in luck (when I say future, I mean the next three years cause my cert. expires in 2008...so don't plan on hurting yourself afterwards.)
Anyway, I've written enough for today. I need to ease myself back into the process of sporadically updating this site. It is humorous to me that so many of you now have blogs that you also only update sporadically, its gives me great joy to see that my lackadaisical attitude has permeated the minds of those that read this ridiculous site. I've even had a few of you ask "hey, why don't you update the site anymore?". I think I told one of you that I was waiting for something to happen in my life that was amazing and fantastic enough to put on this site, but nothing amazing or fantastic has happened in my life recently (or at all really...*add somber sigh with a hint of depressed eyes here*), so don't get your panties all in a wad waiting for me to express some life changing epiphany that I've recently had.

Although I did learn that you can eat 100 year-old lichens called rock tripe by stir-frying them, which is pretty rad.