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My head a-sploded*.

Monday, November 21, 2005
...after I read this:

No but for real...what the heck? So let me get this straight. The writer of this phrase, whom from this point forward I will simply refer to as Writer so as to avoid further disarrangement of my body parts, is in place A. Place A is the place where this phrase can be found. However, at the time of writing, Writer is wishing he/she/it/whatever were back at place B, which is the place that they had originally developed their longing for place A to begin with. However, upon wishing and hence returning (or going for the first time? WHAT?!??) to place A, they no longer wish to be at place A but to return to place B from whence they came, and from whence all this confusion began in the first place. The main implication of this message being that they were wishing they were back at the place they where before being here when they had originally developed the wish to be at their current locale.

You know...after writing it down it all makes alot more sense, so much sense that I going to place this shotgun barrell in my mouth and...(Note from the Editor: D.H. is no longer with the organization, he will be out indefinitely due to injuries sustained during a freak firearms accident. From now on, posting for Life of Randy will be the responsibility of Salvatore Lorenzo Avveduto.)...and consume the metal barrel and stock because of my extreme iron deficiency, which after all was probably the problem to begin with. We all know iron is the essential vitamin and mineral most closely associated with the ability to solve riddles. (Note from the Editor: Good save Mr. Salvatore, good save.)


Ha! Just kidding, no one named Salvatore will be taking over this blog, I've recovered from my previous brush with insanity after many sessions of counseling and a few days at my local psychiatric ward (as well as a few reconstructive surgeries) and I should be as good as new. But anyways, I'm going to Boston tomorrow, so don't expect any posts during the Thanksgiving break. Not that you'd expect them anyways, I'm nothing if not consistently inconsistent.....wait...what??!?


*(hint: EXploded, moron.)

Yeah, yeah, yeah...(not the band)

Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Right, so I know I went on another month long hiatus, but I had like 8 or 9 good posts in between in October so you all got a little spoiled anyways. Its a known fact that people can only stand so much of me before their heads explode with sheer euphoric ecstasy (A little non-consonantal alliteration their for ya. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.). OK so now that we've moved past my obligatory apology, here is some news for ya.

I almost bought this car:
She's a beaut, ain't she? I think the red aftermarket rims really finish it off. I forgot to ask if the little kid comes with the car, I'm guessing he is because the only reason anyone would ever want or need to sell a car like this is the desperation stemming from some sort of impending federal narcotics trafficking (or ingesting...) charge. A little cash for the car, a little more cash for the kid...you know how it goes.

Anyways, since this option didn't pan out for me, I'm starting to think a little more conservatively on the car situation, maybe a mid-size truck or an SUV. Now I know some of you are thinking "Wow, with the current gas situation, he is literally thinking like a conservative" and I just want to you folks who are thinking this to calm down and know that I hate you so much and why don't you go make out with Jon Stewart or Barack Obama or whoever you gays are in to these days. No I don't mean that, your all just gay, I know none of you would ever be able to score with the likes of Stewart or Obama.

Right...anyways I'm going to try and ignore my own tangiental remarks and move on here. So if I got a truck, I am thinking about a new Toyota Tacoma or a Nissan Frontier. Both are pretty rad, I can get them pretty stripped (i.e. cheap) but with beefy V6 engines (hehe...i said beefy). The other options are used Nissan Xterras and Land Rover Discovery. Oddly enough, a used 2003 Discovery is cheaper in a lot of cases then a 2003 Xterra since up to that year Discovery's had such terrible maintenance records. But according to ConsumerReports.org, the 2003 model is above and beyond previous model years in reliability. Anyways, here are my options in pictorial form:
(click link to enlarge)
Anywho, thats enough for now. I was gonna type more but I have class in an hour and I want to get in some "Do Nothing Before Class Time"...which leads me to my next point. Finals are in a month, and since last Thursday I have had NOTHING to do. Whats the deal teachers and professors of Gainesville State College? I'm already Acing all your classes (i.e. getting A's. This is a true story. I know some of you reading this have known me my whole life and you just spit your coffee or Hawaiian Punch all over the computer screen in sheer amazement, but this is true. More on me getting good grades later...), just couldn't find anything challenging for me to do? Pffff, at laugh at your so called education.

No but seriously I haven't had anything due since last Thursday, and I won't have anything due until next Tuesday. I feel a little weird and useless, needless to say. But anyways, just chew on that for a while and email me at gbush@whitehouse.gov if you have any suggestions for a car purchase.